Smatters

This DVD cover comes from a pirated DVD, circa 2001. The English text provides a classic example of an English translation adapted for appearance instead of relevance. The movie was sold in the black market in Beijing, so the Chinese text was what mattered to most buyers. There are at least three separate movies described in English, none of which matched the included DVD.

Click on the image to see an enlarged version.

The cover’s front (right side) looks like an ad for a part of Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings series. It lists the actors Viggo Mortensen, Sean Austin, and Orlando Bloom. The terrible DVD copy of the movie appeared to feature Mortensen, but the story line had nothing to do with Tolkien.

The synopsis on the upper back (left side) sounds like a sword and sorcery adventure, but Mortensen isn’t listed as one of the actors. The synopsis starts with a critic’s quote, no doubt intended as a compliment:

“IN MANY WAYS BETTER THAN
CONAN THE BARBARIAN AND EXCALIBUR!”

I’m not sure what these “many ways” might have been. Perhaps the critic was commenting on a completely different movie.

The third synopsis describes a movie starring Anthony Hopkins and set in Connecticut in 1960. Clearly included for visual appeal and not for its content.

The movie DVD itself seems to be lost. It was acquired by an unnamed person from a DVD seller in Beijing many years ago. The seller was temporarily set up in a closed restaurant. DVDs were in plastic bags, each with a similar bilingual “cover.”