A friend stole this from his sister who posted it on Facebook. So it must be true.
(Rewters) Extremist al-Māgha forces loyal to the regime of Dun’īlad at-Tarāmfi stormed the Amercaijan center of government this morning, declaring the results of the recent Ameri election in favor of his opponent Yūsuf Bayḍin to be invalid. The election, considered valid by UN observers, was immediately declared fraudulent by hard-line Māghanites, who began amassing at the capital building, only being emboldened after yesterday’s Bayḍini victory in the Jawrjiyat province. “What may be hard for non-Ameri readers to comprehend,” reported an anonymous source from the capital district, “is how intense the cult of personality surrounding at-Tarāmfi really is. These Māghanite supporters of his are so indoctrinated to believe that he is this messianic, godlike figure that it is nearly impossible to deprogram them. If he were to stand in the main thoroughfare of the City and slaughter innocents, his supporters would still stand by him — as he said so himself.” President at-Tarāmfi has refused to disown the attack, declaring his “love” for the al-Māgha rebels as they looted the offices of high-ranking political figures. Although calls for him to resign have been heard from multiple members of the Bayḍini camp, they seem unlikely to be heeded, and the future of Amercaijan seems more uncertain than ever.