Centers for Disease Control – Atlanta, GA

July 22, 2012; 13:41EDT

UPDATE JULY 2012: Small animals manifesting “Zombie like” characteristics are rumored to have been sighted in the Upper Midwest, and appear to be slowly spreading throughout the Illinois and Iowa, mainly centering on river areas. No people have been impacted by this situation. US Health Officials have been capturing sick looking animals and, other than an occasional infection, nothing in particular has been noted.

This specific strain of the Zombie Virus is believed to have mutated from Raccoon Parvo Virus due to some similarities, and appears to be spreading through isolated pockets native Raccoon populations.

Greg Ball, District Director at Eagle River District said “our Fall Camporee plans remain, Fred C. Andersen or bust. Our boys will be fine, we’ve been closely monitoring this situation and at this time we see no reason to call this off.”

According to the agency spokesman David Diagle, “CDC does not know of a virus or condition that would reanimate the dead (or one that would present zombie-like symptoms).”

Art Marty, Fred C Andersen Camp Ranger, answered questions on whether there have been reports on suspicious activity and noted that there have been no problems locally. “We’re full steam ahead here at Fred C. The Boy Scouts have been camping all summer with no concerns. We had that funny barge accident this spring, but, besides a few strange things with the local critters everything’s been normal. Who hasn’t seen a squirrel that’s been run over just get up and wander off?”

As a pre-caution, Scouts are advised to seek shelter at the First Aid tent at the Eagle River District Fall Camporee September 7th through 9th should they feel notice any strange feelings or illnesses. Local Health Officials will be available as well as the expertise of the volunteer Leaders from the District to protect the health of the boys. The growing concern about zombies and the pattern of incidents that triggered it off has forced the CDC to issue statement that zombies do not exist. We’re ok boys, the government is here to help. Should these concerns continue, additional security precautions will be taken, including local law enforcement if needed.